


Not Everything Is About Sex

by KingHippiedude (missreader)



Series: Genderfluid Thor (this will probably have a better name later) [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Gen, Genderfluid, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Thor, Non-Binary Thor, Non-binary character, Trans, Trans Character, Transgender, non-binary, transvengers, transvengers assemble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 07:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3201311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missreader/pseuds/KingHippiedude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor is genderfluid. Bruce doesn't get it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Everything Is About Sex

**Author's Note:**

> I used a random number generator to prompt myself from the Transvengers Initiative prompt list. It's based on number 26: No I’m not ‘just really gay’ (Thor and Bruce). That was my starting point, but the story kind of took a life of its own. I didn't think I could ever make myself hate Bruce so much. The characters may be a little OOC and it hasn't been edited, but I wanted to get something posted. I tried to use 'they' pronouns for Thor, but--as previously mentioned--I haven't really done any editing, so please comment if you find any mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

Thor opened their closet, looking for something to wear, but there was a weight in their chest and the sense of an itch that couldn’t be scratched that made them want to claw at their skin. Today was going to be a bad day. They stood, undressed, and stared at the jeans and t-shirts before them, longing for a dress and the freedom and courage to wear it. At least they didn’t have a roommate this year, so they were able to hide their panties without fear of being found. They pulled them out now. They only had three pairs, but they had each been hand-picked on different occasions over the last year, and Thor loved them. Today they chose a silky red pair and put them on under their masculine outfit. The panties helped a little to ease the weight and restlessness. It wasn’t perfect, but it would have to do. They pulled on their most comfortable jeans and shirt and pulled their hair back in a partial ponytail.

They imagined, someday, feeling brave enough to do something cute with their long hair, to put on a dress and makeup and let the world see them as they saw themself. Thor didn’t feel like this all the time, but it was often enough that the pressure of hiding was beginning to wear them down.

By the time Thor arrived in class and took their seat next to Bruce and Tony, they had regained some semblance of control over this thing that wanted to explode from within them.

“Morning, Thor,” Tony said, somehow both enthusiastic and distracted. Bruce simply nodded at them as the professor began speaking. Thor concentrated intently on their notes to distract themself from their inner turmoil, and because they had struggled last semester in economics and didn’t want the same to happen this semester. Before they knew it, class was over and everyone began packing their bags.

Thor heard Bruce saying to Tony, “I’m going grocery shopping right now, wanna come with?”

“No thanks, Big Guy, I’ve got some coding to do, and it’s not like I ever cook anything anyways,” Tony replied.

“May I accompany you, friend Bruce?” Thor asked.

“Sure, Thor”

***

The trip to the grocery store was fairly quiet. They exchanged a bit of small talk, but Bruce was a quiet person by nature and Thor was not in the mood to fill the silence today. It wasn’t uncomfortable exactly, but Thor could sense a tension in the air.

On the return trip, the words crawled their way out of Thor’s throat involuntarily.

“Bruce,” they began, “I… do you…” They took a deep breath and calmed themself. “Sometimes, I like to wear women’s clothes. I don’t feel like the man that everyone seems to think I am. Everyone expects me to be this perfect man or something, and I just don’t get it. It doesn’t feel like me.”

“There are plenty of men who aren’t super masculine. A lot of guys like to look more feminine. Some guys even dress in drag sometimes. Are you sure that you don’t just want to do something rebellious and different? Or maybe you’re just really gay?”

“No, it doesn’t have anything to do with sex. I don’t think I am a man.”

“You have a penis, right?”

Thor growled, “yes, but that doesn’t matter. A penis doesn’t make me man.”

“So, do you want to be a woman?”

“No, not really.” Thor said, exasperated, ready for this conversation to be over. “I’m not a woman either. I don’t really know what word to use. There are so many, and none of them are really right. I guess… genderfluid is most accurate.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that my gender identity isn’t something concrete or permanent and definitely not binary. It changes from day to day, sometimes only a little, sometimes drastically.”

Bruce was silent for a minute. Then he said, “I don’t know if I can really wrap my mind around all that. It’s kind of complicated. But maybe you’ll figure it out soon.”

Thor wanted to scream, wanted to tell Bruce that they had figured it out, a long time ago. That it was Bruce who needed to figure it out. But the conversation had drained them, and they were back at campus by now anyways, so they parted ways with a quiet, “see you later” and hurried back to their room.

They were glad that they only had a couple refrigerated items that needed to be put away and the rest could be thrown down on the table. They put the milk and cheese and ice cream away in a haze and locked themself in their room.

They pulled off their jeans and put on their most comfortable lounging clothes, a pair of gray sweats and a pink powderpuff football shirt. And they curled up in the middle of their bed and hugged a pillow wishing it were a friend to comfort them, or at least a stuffed animal. For the first time in a long time, they felt tears streaming down their face.

They lay in their bed the rest of the day, getting up only to go to the bathroom and to fix and eat a frozen pizza and a large portion of the ice cream they had bought earlier. Thor didn’t know what to do. They had finally told someone who they really were, and they had hoped, had wanted to believe that they would be accepted. But Bruce had told them that they didn’t know themself. But they did. They had struggled for a long time with not knowing, but one day they had come across something on Tumblr and it had changed their world. And they had realized that there were other people like them. No matter what Bruce said, they had to remind themself, _I am not alone_. At least they had a community of people online who affirmed them. But it wasn’t the same as having real friends who knew.

They slept restlessly, and they woke with tear tracks on their face, feeling as if they had not slept at all. The itch under their skin had dissipated, but the weight in their gut was heavier than ever. They played the part as well as ever, but that didn’t make it any less fake.


End file.
